Holy moly…Chadd and I have been married almost a year now! (See previous posts about our wedding here & here, & our proposal story here!) I swear, the older I get the faster time goes. So the thing about any relationship is you’re always learning things about each other and always learning what works for you as a couple and what doesn’t. Also, marriage is HARD work. But oh so rewarding & fun. Now this post may make me vulnerable and remember this is for MY marriage, and it won’t be the same for everyone. With that being said, I’m going to share with you some brutally honest things I’ve learned in the first year of my marriage.
COMPROMISE IS A MUST
Compromise is essential. You both won’t always want to do what the other wants to. But you end up doing it to simply make them happy and vice versa. Now this doesn’t mean you will do this with everything in life, because let’s face it…you won’t always want to go spend one hour at Cabela’s looking at the same guns over and over for that whole hour and he won’t always want to walk through the mall and watch you try on clothes you know you won’t buy anyways. But there are times when compromise is necessary. A good trade-off can work wonders too. “If you come with me to Target/take the garbage out/do the dishes…I’ll________ for you later tonight.” That type of thing. (P.S. My fill in the blank was too explicit to type out…so let your imagination run wild on that!) 😉
YOU’RE SPOUSE IS ANNOYING
Whether you like to admit it or not, your spouse will do things to annoy you. And wanna know something even crazier?? You’re going to annoy the shit out of them too. Chadd leaves his socks EVERYWHERE and I HAVE to fix the blanket so the tag is at the bottom left corner of the bed EVERY NIGHT. (OCD much?) I stuff his socks in his pillow case and he threatens to rip off the tag on the blanket. (Which would probably result in a mental breakdown on my end. Haha) Those things drive us crazy about each other but we’re able to make light of it and just go with it. Keep in mind, there will always be things that drive each other crazy so make the best of it.
FAILURE CAN BE GOOD
I fall flat on my face and make mistakes constantly. I am no expert and I fail Chadd all the time. Sometimes I think before I speak, sometimes I’m snappy at him for no reason, and sometimes I make the wrong choices. I wish I could say that I’m the best wife I can be, but that’s not ever going to happen. It’s a constant learning process.
This is a requirement not just for marriage but for any relationship. You can’t be serious all.the.time. You just can’t. It’ll get boring & stressful reallll quick. There are things I still think “I can’t believe I just did that in front of him…” and guess what? He still loves me. Goofy and all. Just make sure you’re being goofy in the right situations…there are times where being serious is necessary and don’t forget this.
DATE NIGHTS ARE IMPORTANT
Weekly date nights isn’t something we implemented until about our 10th/11th month of marriage. But we realized that we got comfortable doing the same things all the time and needed to spice it up once in a while and always make time for each other. We try our best to have at least one date night per week. This can be anything…cooking dinner at home together or going out and trying something new. And don’t beat yourself up if you miss a week…it’ll happen & that’s okay.
PRAISE IS POWERFUL
Not long into our marriage, I realized (or actually he made me realize) I didn’t praise Chadd enough. He is so extremely hard working, very passionate about hunting among other things & still makes time to be a wonderful, loving husband. He does A LOT for me and although I am always so beyond thankful for everything he does, I didn’t always make that clear. Your spouse is not a read minder and although they know you appreciate the things you do for them, they want to hear you say it. Now I put a conscious effort into making it LOUD & CLEAR that I am thankful for what he does and praise him on all the good he does.
PATIENCE IS KEY
Patience is something that has NEVER been in my blood. (See a previous post here to read a little more about that.) And when you’re married this is a requirement. Your spouse relies so heavily on you, as you do on them, and this means being patient. When Chadd gets upset, I don’t always agree with it but I’m learning to be patient and try to see things from his point of view and learn from it and understand it instead of getting upset that he’s upset. And he is learning to do the same with me. So although I’m still not nearly as patient as I probably should be, I’m improving.
TIME FLIES WHEN YOU’RE HAVING FUN
Bottom line is…marriage is incredible. The hard work, tears, laughter, embarassments, fights…it’s ALL WORTH IT. I have more fun with Chadd than I do anyone else and I appreciate every single minute we have together. Marriage means you get to do this crazy thing called life, with your best friend by your side through it all. And I am so blessed God put Chadd in my life as that person for me.
Cheers to one year of marriage!
P.S. I came across this article of “Your First Year of Marriage As Told in GIFs” and it’ couldn’t be more accurate. Check it out here for a good laugh!